A certain quote on a friend’s Facebook page sparked emotions for me the other day. ” I am not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance.”
Amen. It’s a viscous cycle. We are taught to paint a prettier picture of what we go through because other people may not be able to handle it. Who’s bright idea was that? What I see is, by forcing a smile and pretending we’re always okay, is only hurting us. We bottle up everything until we honestly can’t take anymore and then we explode. The reaction to our explosion is utter shock and disgust that we could let ourselves get that far. If you tell me to keep everything in I am going to get to a point where I lose it.
For a long time it was this idea that kept me ashamed of myself and stopped me from starting this blog. I was basically taught to be afraid of what other people think of me and my mental illness. It’s exhausting living a lie, even to those closet to you. So I vow to myself that I won’t let other’s dictate how I heal. If this blog helps me communicate with others and makes me feel better, then I’m going to do it. It may not be comfortable for you to read and honestly it is not always comfortable for me to write, but it’s helping me and I’ve already heard from others that it’s helping them. This blog is exactly what it’s called. Stop. And smell. My roses. My roses have plenty of thorns but life isn’t life without a little discomfort.