If you hate someone, set them free.
Personally have been working on this statement for seven years. I have so much hate for a lot of people I’ve had in my life and feel completely surrounded by their memory. If I could give anyone advice it would be to allow yourself the chance to heal. I don’t feel you can do this in an area that you personally disdain. It’s okay to want to start on a new path. You don’t need someone’s permission or approval. You know what’s best for you. If that means starting somewhere new with a new outlook, hell go for it. There is no reason why anyone should feel stuck in their own life; like your life is controlling you instead of the other way around. You should have control over your happiness. It’s time to stop others from controlling your peace of mind. So I’ve made myself a checklist. A list towards my true happiness. I highly recommend actually writing a list, because crossing something off on that list is truly a high. For my list I have certain aspects that I’ve asked myself ” What is your happy?” Some are simple and maybe even materialistic, but it’s what I truly think will help me.
Have a quaint home I am proud of: I want a place to call my own, with my own style incorporated. It could be a small apartment or a little cottage. As long as I make it mine.
-Find a style that promotes relaxation and peace( for me it’s a mix between bohemian and a log cabin feel)
– Live in an environment that will bring me back to nature( I feel a sense of calm when I’m in nature, so why not live where I can access it
– Have a space just for relaxation/meditation ( could be a sun room, maybe a garden?)
– Decorate with DIY projects ( making things myself will give me a sense of pride)
Learn to love myself. This one is going to be tough but I have some ideas.
– Meditate every night before bed ( having a good nights sleep makes me think clearer and less likely to have destructive thoughts)
-Make a grounding skills kit ( Part of loving myself, is to know myself. And I know that some days I have flashbacks and destructive thinking. A grounding kit is something I carry with me with items that help bring me back to the present; small tube of lavender, play dough,stress ball, etc.
-Practice positive self talk. ( Started small, but every morning I wake up and say to myself ” You are enough. It’s not your fault.” I hope the more I say it, the more I believe.)
-Use visual cues. ( Again part of my healing is to be proactive. So I place small visual cues where I commonly look. For example, on my mirror I drew a small stop sign in dry erase marker. Whenever I start to put myself down, I make myself look at the stop sign. Simply by having the sign on my mirror, makes me look and redirect my thoughts)
Own my creative side. ( When I’m in a good state of mind I know I have a lot of creativity inside. But sometimes I doubt myself and then avoid doing things I love to do. So making it goal to push past tough times and create is something that will complete my happiness.)
– Create something everyday. (Whether it’s a picture, jewelry, or even a blog post. Use that energy to produce something I’m proud of.)
– Pass that creativity on. ( Allow others to see my work in hopes of inspiring someone. If I could connect this to my career, that would be my ultimate goal.)
-Find something and use it for something else. ( Love creating things that have a different purpose. Example- Taking wine corks and making them into coasters or taken broken jewelery and making it into a new piece.
Give back. ( For me, helping others helps me. It makes me happy to know I have brightened someones day.)
-Do something nice for a stranger once in a while.( Recently read an article about how surprising someone you don’t know with an act of kindness can change someone’s day, maybe even life. Some examples I want to try- pay for someone’s drive through order, leave a kind note and post it in a random place.)
-Volunteer.( Truly believe in this act of kindness. Times where I’ve been happiest have been when I have shared my love.)
-Donate to a charity
So I guess what I’m saying is, it is possible to be happy. You just have to figure out what will do that for you. For me it’s knowing what I want and making a type of checklist, call it a bucket list if you will. This way I physically can be reminded when I need the most motivation.