the 9 year old boy who said ” I’ll pay you ten dollars if I can touch your boobs.” to a 13 year old me
high school boy who whistled as I walked by
the man who grasped my hip at the bar
the ones who said I’d be next to commit suicide
my first for everything; my choice or not
the ones that give up because my past is muddy
You did deserve the slush puppy thrown in your face;not my disgust, you did deserve my “not so lady like” middle finger;not my anger , you did deserve the elbow to your prized jewels; not my pride, you did deserve education on mental health; not my reputation,you did deserve your father’s love and respect; but not my body/innocence, you do deserve the guilt; not my confidence.
While it’s a joke to much of the population I have met and continue to meet; it starts small. Like a joke about being a prude, but grows to pressure to defy that label, grows to a night never forgotten, grows to self loathing, grows to years of dissociation, grows to a struggle within oneself. Sure you impressed your buddies or proved your male worth, but you affected a life so vividly, deeply, and so negatively.
That’s sure something to be proud of.